Who Are You Outside of Motherhood? Do You Still Believe in Her?
As moms, we pour ourselves into raising our kids. For years, that role shapes our identity. But eventually a question begins to whisper louder: Who are you outside of motherhood?
Now that I have an 18-year-old heading off to college and a 16-year-old who just began driving, the freedom for each of us feels palpable. But here’s what surprised me: no matter how old they get, the worry never fades. With freedom comes responsibility, not just for them, but for me too.
Stop Waiting for the “Right Time”
For so long, I watched women postpone their dreams. “I’ll start after the kids are older. I’ll do it when life slows down. Maybe later, when I have more time.” But the truth is there is never a perfect moment.
When I started my nonprofit business, I didn’t wait. I didn’t wait until my kids were grown. I didn’t wait until I had extra time. I didn’t wait until I had it all figured out. And yes, it was messy. But starting in the middle of motherhood gave me fuel to keep going.
Why Starting Messy Is Better Than Not Starting at All
Motherhood can feel like a whirlwind of school drop-offs, sports schedules, and endless laundry. But in that chaos, I felt a quiet pull: “There’s more. And I think I’m meant to build it.”
Did I doubt myself? Absolutely. Who am I to start something now? Would people take me seriously? Could I even take myself seriously?
Here’s what I learned: I didn’t need permission. I needed belief. Belief that I was worth building something for myself.
Building Alongside Motherhood, Not After It
I didn’t build my nonprofit after motherhood. I built it alongside motherhood. And that was enough. I wasn’t a nonprofit executive. I wasn’t a fundraising expert. I was a mom with a fire in her belly and a heart that broke every time a kid missed out on an opportunity. That passion was enough to get me started.
For 15 years, it gave me something more than just a mission. It gave me an identity outside of caretaking.
You’re Allowed to Want Something for Yourself
Let me be clear: I love being a mom. But sometimes we hide behind motherhood because it is safer than saying our dreams out loud. It is easier to say, “Not now. Maybe later.”
But what if our dreams are part of the example we are supposed to set for our kids? What if showing them how to create, lead, and pursue purpose is just as important as driving them to practice or helping with homework? You don’t have to choose between motherhood and purpose. You get to be both.
So, What’s Tugging at Your Heart?
Maybe you’ve been sitting on something. An idea. A mission. A “maybe someday.” Here’s your nudge: name it. Claim it. Breathe some life back into it.
Because you don’t have to wait until after. You don’t have to choose between being a mom and being yourself. We live in a time where you get to be both. Do not take it for granted.
Final Takeaway: Believe in Her
The version of you outside of motherhood is still there. She’s waiting for you to believe in her. Do not silence her. Do not keep putting her off until later. Start messy. Start now. Start anyway. You are worth it, and the world needs what only you can create.
